inner healing
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It’s just You and me here in the dark. The bold, faith-filled proclamations made in the light slink back into a corner of quiet loneliness as night creeps in. The night sits heavy on my chest. Sometimes, it’s like a warm blanket. Other times, it’s like a snake that wraps itself around me, twisting and…
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Sometimes I take inventory of my body and find my jaw clenched, my shoulders tense, my hands balled into fists. It’s like I’m hanging on for dear life to something slipping through my fingers. What if I let go? Let myself be cracked wide open? Let myself melt into rest? What if—instead of holding on…
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When my heart is overwhelmed and things get really real, I want to be led “to a rock that is higher than I” not to my own familiar devices—an attempt to self-soothe. Self produces that which is of the self. I’ve lived enough life to know I don’t need a self-production; I need an impartation…
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You pull me close, I won’t resist, My heart was made for Love like this. An empty cavern; a desert plain, Nothing to offer but all of my pain. You take it in stride, both hands on my face, Breathe life in my lungs; You fill in the space. Where the world left me empty,…
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This month marks a year that my husband and I have been separated; six months since we’ve sought divorce. This bitter pill has been excruciating to swallow, but I’m washing it down little by little, trusting God to make it make sense when I get to the other side. Although I’m very much “in the…
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Written December 4, 2019 Let your guard fall. You don’t have to be the strong one here. My love isn’t fragile. It doesn’t hinge upon your ability to “get it right.” My love is a tower of strength; a place of refuge where your heart is safe. I understand you. I know you. I love…
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You rode into my life, a knight in shining armor; pulling me out of my own miry pit. A hero in my eyes, until you sliced me with your sword. It wasn’t intentional, you’d say.In fact, how dare I assume it was even about me at all? This invalidation lodged a dagger in my heart,…
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This year came in relentlessly swinging, like a heavyweight boxer fighting for a championship title. It knocked me upside down and kept me there, blood rushing to my head as the punches kept coming. It wasn’t the blows themselves that caused the most damage. It was the disorientation in the wake, when my world was…
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Journal entry: December 9, 2022 How do you come out from the cocoon of survival and emerge as a butterfly? I once slinked along the ground, carrying the DNA of a butterfly but looking nothing of the sort. I tucked myself away in hidden-ness, allowing You to turn me into goo; trusting You & “trusting…
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Journal entry: February 25, 2023 In so many ways, I saw You as a means to an end… A way to get what I so desperately wanted but was too effed up to acquire on my own: A family, a sense of belonging, a home. If I acquired that—with your help—my life would be good.…
Brit Blazes her Trail 