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You rode into my life, a knight in shining armor; pulling me out of my own miry pit. A hero in my eyes, until you sliced me with your sword. It wasn’t intentional, you’d say.In fact, how dare I assume it was even about me at all? This invalidation lodged a dagger in my heart,…
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This year came in relentlessly swinging, like a heavyweight boxer fighting for a championship title. It knocked me upside down and kept me there, blood rushing to my head as the punches kept coming. It wasn’t the blows themselves that caused the most damage. It was the disorientation in the wake, when my world was…
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Journal entry: December 9, 2022 How do you come out from the cocoon of survival and emerge as a butterfly? I once slinked along the ground, carrying the DNA of a butterfly but looking nothing of the sort. I tucked myself away in hidden-ness, allowing You to turn me into goo; trusting You & “trusting…
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Journal entry: February 25, 2023 In so many ways, I saw You as a means to an end… A way to get what I so desperately wanted but was too effed up to acquire on my own: A family, a sense of belonging, a home. If I acquired that—with your help—my life would be good.…
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It was halfway through the previews when my childhood best friend Amanda and I stumbled through the dark theatre, leaving a trail of spilled popcorn, tipsy off laughs and shared margarita flights. We were meeting our sisters and moms on the opening night of the live-action depiction of Disney’s The Little Mermaid. The cartoon version…
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The ride home from middle school pick up was filled with angst, yelling, manipulating and arguing. My eleven-year-old daughter Quinn wants to sign up for tackle football but the rule in our house—one we held her older brother Zaiden to—is no tackle football until you turn twelve. Because of Zaiden’s May birthday, he was able…
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We turned the page on 2022 nearly two months ago and since then, my socials have been flooded with commitments to weight loss and fitness pursuits. For decades, I was one of these. Every New Years, I’d renew my goal of losing 10, 20 or 30 pounds and employ harsh methods to get the job…
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I never felt loved growing up, despite having wonderful parents who loved me fiercely and did the very best they could. That truth has always haunted me as a parent: Not feeling loved as a young teen led me to make a lot of self-destructive decisions. Because of this, I carry so much fear that…
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The day came barging in—expected and inevitable but neither welcomed nor invited. He laid out a new shirt with sunshines all over it. He picked a pair of his brother’s hand-me-down khaki shorts and bright yellow sandals to go with. His space-themed bookbag and lunch box were packed and ready to go. This was a…
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It’s been three months since we turned the page on 2021 and welcomed 2022 to the scene—reluctantly hopeful this new year would bring growth as a result of the collective heartache we’ve endured in ‘20 and ‘21. As we begin to coast into the spring and summer months, I’d like to share some benchmarks I…